I've taken what I coin a "mental health" week off work. Sometimes, you just need a break for the sake of having a break without actually going away on a holiday somewhere. As it stands, my current workplace is really doing my head in. I feel like I'm wasting away there because my tasks have become monotonous and they are, in no way, utilising the full potential of my intelligence.
Someone like me constantly needs to be mentally challenged, or I'm likely to stagnate and die. I already feel like I've let too much time elapse, but I said I'd stay in this job for at least twelve months so it looks better on my resume, and I've done that. It gets pretty hard to find the time and energy to search and apply for jobs, so I decided to register with an employment agency.
Yesterday, I headed into the city to have an interview with a consultant from Michael Page. They specialise in contract and temporary work in the HR area across all industries, but honestly six months contract experience in a HR position doesn't sound too bad right now. Although, of course, I would prefer a permanent job. But at this point in my life, while I'm still relatively young, temp and contract work is fine. It might actually be better suited to me right now anyway, since I'd probably like the flexibility of being able to do my own thing in terms of travelling and study, etc.
I don't want to be tied down right now anyway. I haven't reached a place in my life where I'm ready to settle down. I have so much I still want to do, and I know having certain commitments in my life will just hinder me. I love having people around me, but my spirit needs to be free. If I want to pick up and go, I want to be able to do that without having to worry about anyone else. My friends and family understand this, but a partner might not. Anyway, I haven't yet met a person who can accept me for exactly who I am and, until I do, I'm going to be a solo show. If I never do, then it doesn't bother me. Of course, people would say it's sad to be alone, but I say it's sad to have to compromise who you are for someone who can't love you, warts and all.
Relationships take work, I know that. I'm willing to meet halfway on many things, but I won't alter myself so much to the detriment of my own personal happiness and sanity. If you want people to tolerate your shit, then you better be willing to do the same for others. That is my rule of thumb. I've stopped, or rather I make a very concerted effort to stop, judging people for the things they choose to do in their life. The only time I put my foot down is when their actions or behaviour directly affects me in a negative way. I think that's only fair. Otherwise, dude, I am not here to judge you, but only love you and help you if you want and need it.
Okay, enough mental deviations for today.
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